Hello everyone! I want to share something again 😊. Yesterday was my daughter’s birthday, but it was different than usual birthday, no celebration and no present. I felt sorry actually for her since she has been waiting for the present. It’s not because we don’t buy something for her, just because the delivery time was extended, so the present will come late. We didn’t invite her friends because of pandemic. Yes, pandemic changes everything, we have to get used to it.
She felt a bit sad yesterday, for sure, no usual things that she had for her birthday. I also felt sorry at the first time, but suddenly my heart said something different. It said, “it’s ok for the late birthday present, she will receive it sooner or later. It’s ok not to celebrate since a lot of children also experienced this things during pandemic. What do you think the most important present for her? It’s not always about toys! But you n your husband presence as her parents and your love for her. Those are the things that she should learn and both of you emphasize. You will always be there for her at her special day.”
Yes, as a parent, i want to give the best for my children. Like my parents said, “i want you to have a better life than we had, i don’t want you to suffer just like us.” I also want my children to have a better life than my childhood. I don’t want them to be sad, to suffer. This is a nice things, but can also be a wrong parenting! Giving a better life to our children is a blessing, and it’s also like an obligation for us as a parents, for example, if we can’t write or read, we work hard so that our children are able to go to school, so that they can read and write. But it’s doesn’t mean that we have to give them a luxurious things, many toys, or other spoiling things that we didn’t have in our childhood. Giving a better life means, giving more life experience, building strong character, educating them higher than us, teaching them virtue of life which are not always related to money.
Of course giving present in a special day is not wrong things to do, it is sweet and nice for sure! As a parents, it’s also our duty to give them a nice beautiful childhood moments, so they will grow up as a positive person. We do wrong things if we always spoil them with easiness and instance things. Life is not always good, we don’t always have sunny bright day every day. Sometimes we experience gloomy dark day. During that day, we might struggle a lot, we need survival kit such as strong character, coping stress, problem solving, perseverance, etc. Our children won’t learn these things if we always provide what they want (not what they need!) easily. Sometimes, we have to show them the dark side of life, but still guide them, in order to let them know that life is not a fairy tale that always have a happy end or aways filled with lucky things. Life is always about struggling and hard working. By letting them to know what sadness, stress, disappointment, pain, they will learn how to cope, to solve problem, to overcome, to grow empathy, to care, to encourage theirselves and one day others too.
So in order to build a strong character of our children, we have to have a strong heart to see and allow them to feel what struggling is. As a parent, it’s our duty to guide them, to accompany them during that time, to let them know that they are not alone, they always have our support and love. They always can lay on our shoulder when they have gloomy days. In other words, we are their support system, but not their problem solver, even more we are not their “doer” or “provider” who always pampered them with all the things that they want!
Yes, it is indeed not easy to be parents, but being a parent is also a wonderful blessing. What we, as parents, need to do is always learning. We do mistakes, it’s ok! Since we are only unperfect human, but we learn from our mistakes to be better person each day, that what really matters is! Sometimes we can’t give them the best things in life, it’s ok! What really important are we always be by our children side whenever they need us, provide them with unconditional love and make them feel safe around us. Those are the best things that every parent can do.
Have a nice day everyone! God bless you all!