What love really is

Hello everyone, first of all, I would like to say Happy Valentine for those who celebrate it. Actually I and my husband don´t celebrate it so much, but he still gave me a box of chocolate yesterday (And it my fav one, Mon Cheri :D).  I was so excited to celebrate it when I was younger. I was busy preparing presents for those who I loved and I was so excited to receive one also from my boyfriend. But now, as time goes by, I start to think what really meaningful for them is, instead of physical present.

For my mom and grandma (also my late father, who died on September 2016), my presence is the most meaningful present, so when I and my little family visit them once in a year, they will be so happy. For my husband, I think that presents are not important anymore (of course he feels happy if I give him present), he know I love him and what I need it to show him that I love him. For my daughter, of course she will expect for some presents, but she also feels happy when she gets Chocolate or other sweet things. Instead of those things, what really important for her is my love and presence. She told me that she feels so afraid if one day I will leave her (actually she is the one who will leave us one day T___T, but that´s so sweet of her, I was so melting when I heard those words from her little mouth).

From my colove 1nclusion, what really matter for all of them is love. Since we are still in the months of love, i would like to discuss more about love. What is love actually? For me, it´s a beautiful feeling that make my life more colorful and meaningful. This word is easy to say but it´s hard to be shown or express sometimes. Love is a universal language that can be understood beyond human languages. Sometimes people can feel it without saying any words. Love doesn´t have any border of age, gender, social status, race, religion, or even species. It so universal that everyone is able to feel it. It can come suddenly, but it will stay forever, if it´s really true love is. I like my friend´s words which said that love starts quickly but stops at never ending line. I do agree with this quote, I think that if we really love someone, we will never stop loving them.

For me, love is not selfish, it´s about feeling towards others, how to make them smile, how to make them comfortable, most of it how to make them happy. It´s really a beautiful feeling, but it´s always about others, not our selves. When the goals is just our happiness, I think that it won´t be love anymore. It´s an obsession. It´s kinda close with this love feeling, but actually it´s totally different. The focus is actually the same, others. If we are obsessed with someone, we will think about him/her every minute, we will think about how to get their attention, and no matter what, we should have them in our life so it will make us happy.  Our goal is just our own happiness. If we truly love someone, our main goal is their happiness, not ours. We will be happy if we see their happiness, even if we are being a part of it or not.

Love is also about forgiving and accepting. No matter how hard they hurt us, we still forgive them and accept them in our life. True love is unconditional, there is no “if” words in loving someone. Love is about being ourselves, we don´t have to be someone else to being loved. True love doesn’t need any reason or any “because of”. Sometimes love needs change, a change to be a better person. A change to turn our bad habit to a good one. We don´t need someone asking us to change, but it will happen naturally. Love makes us mature. Love brings hope, joy and peace in our heart.

Love is also about caring, giving and sacrificing, not only our money, but also our time, attention, presence, and even our life. We will never think of what they will give us, we just think of what we can do for them. We will sacrifice everything to see the happiness of the people that we love. No matter how much love we have already given, we will never run of it. It will grow and grow everyday.  That´s why I think this beautiful feeling has hard consequences to be taken sometimes. In other way, love could be a medicine for health and could fix a broken heart too. It makes us stronger. Love could heal pain, it makes us humans and it keeps our humanity.

Love needs to be expressed. Love has also its own language to be expressed. I ever heard about five love languages from Gary Chapman in some seminars, and I also agree with him. According to Chapman, there are actually five languages of love, here are those :

  1. Words of affirmation : love is expressed through words, praise, appreciation, affirmation, or something that are spoken.
  2. Act of services : love is expressed through actions, like protecting someone, preparing breakfast, helping someone, even massaging our love one. It´s more than just a word.
  3. Gifts : love is expressed through presents, such as giving someone present on their birthday, Valentine, Christmas, etc.
  4. Quality time : love is expressed through our presence. We give them not only our time, but our entire mind and soul. There is no undivided mind or undistracted attention when we are with them.
  5. Physical touch : it´s expressed through physical activities, such as touching, hugging, kissing, or even sexual activities.

It´s good to know this love language, because everyone has a difference of it. It could be the combination of two or three of them. When we know our love one´s love language, it´s easier for them to feel our love. For me, my love language are act of services and quality time. How about you? I believe, above all, love should be expressed both with words and actions. Love is just a beautiful written love, it needs to be practiced in our daily life.





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