Hello everyone! It’s been a while since i wrote something. Last week, my friend invited me to discuss about this topic and i found that it was interesting to be discussed. So in this blog, i would like to share about suppression feelings.
Nowadays, since the booming of social networks, people want to be seen as a happy and success person in other’s eyes. Mostly people post something good and nice to be showed. Behind the scene, nobody really knows how one’s life runs. Most people will hide their negative side about everything, include feelings.
In my opinion, feelings have two poles, positive and negative. Positive feelings such as joy, happy, excited, etc are easy to be felt and expressed. The negative feelings, since it is not nice to feel, are tend to be suppressed. So what is suppression feelings? It is an intentionally action to hide or avoid some feelings, not to express it. So we are aware of this action. Is it bad? Actually it is a positive defense mechanism that usually done by a healthy person. For me, it is not bad, but it has an impact later for our mental health if we keep doing that.
So why do people suppress their feeling? Perhaps they aren’t able to deal with the consequences if they express it. Perhaps like i already told before, people just want to show the good side of their life. Perhaps, they don’t want to be judged as a weak person. Perhaps, it is an impact of culture, like in eastern culture, boys are not allowed to cry, since crying is associated with weakness. Perhaps, the situation is not conducive to express the feelings. And so on…. there are a lot of reasons for suppression feelings.
What will be the impact then? The first of all, people will not aware about their feelings if they always suppress it. It’s just like blowing a balloon without knowing its capacity and at some time, the balloon will explode. The same case will happen with the feelings. For me, feelings need to be felt and expressed, that’s why it’s called feelings. After it expresses itself, than one will find a way to control it, to overcome it and then move on. If the feelings never show itself, how could a person manage to control it.
If the person always suppresses his/her feelings, at some point it will explode. It will lead to depression. At the first moment, they will start to feel sad or miserable without any reason. They will feel empty and useless. They will lose their confidence. At the end, they will enter the world of depression. So it is important to recognize our mental capacity to handle our feelings. If we can’t handle it alone, try to find help. Try to find someone else who we are able share our feelings and help us to overcome it.
But first of all, we have to know what kind of feeling that exist in ourselves. We have to give a label or a name of that existed feeling first. That’s why it is important to help our children to label their feelings, so they know what kind of feelings arise in their heart at a moment. After labeling that feelings, let it show themselves. For example, crying when sad, laughing when happy, shout when angry, etc. The feeling should be expressed, but for sure as a human in community, there must be a boundary to express one’s feelings. It should not hurt others and for sure ourselves too. We have to find a healthy way to express it. Such as when we are angry, instead of hit someone or the wall, it’s better to write our anger in a journal or draw it in a canvas, or playing some music instruments.
As an adult, we have to control our feelings, not the other way, cause we are the master of ourselves. How can we control our feelings then? I have seen a good psychological movies about mental disorder, and there are some interesting tips in that movie about how to control ourselves. If we feel that we are going to explode, close our eyes and count one till three and take a deep breath. It’s a method to control ourselves. I try it and it works for me. When i feel angry, i do that, and i can control the way i behave after doing that method.
At the end, i just want to say, there is nothing wrong about the feelings itself. What might be wrong is the way we express it. If the feelings are expressed extremely without any control, it could be something wrong and harmful. So we have to learn how to control the feelings and express it with a way which doesn’t harm anybody or anything. Feelings could be expressed in art, writing, music, dancing, sport or another conducive action. If we need help, then we have to find someone else who can help us to express the feelings and also help us to control it. If we can find a person to share our feelings, just kneel down and pray to God. He will hear us and give us peace in our hearts.
Have a nice day everyone!