Forgive The Unforgotten

As i sat on my couch and watch TV, i heard the woman said that she had forgiven the man because she had forgotten what had been done by the man. I suddenly thought, what will happen if she remember again what had been done by that man? Will she hate him again?

This phrase is a common thing in daily life, “i already forgot what you’ve done, i forgive you.” So what will happen when we suddenly remember the things that have hurt us before? Is the anger or even hatred still in our heart? That’s the main problem for me.

I believe that everyone has ever felt pain in their relationship, not only in romantic one, but also in friendship or even in our family. Sometimes it just happens without we even realize that we have hurt someone or vice versa. The pain remains in our heart, sometimes we bury it and forget that it has ever existed, but it comes out into another form such as psychological problem (anxiety, depression, etc). I will call this unsolved problem. That means that it doesn’t solve anything if we just forget the painful things that have happened.

Some will say that time will heal us, but i will say that’s not 100% right. Time will make the pain less painful, but it will not heal us. We are the one who could heal ourselves, by forgiving. Then how to forgive? This is not easy things to do. I do have ever struggle with this, when one of the closest person in my life hurt me the most. The person broke my heart and almost made me lose my trust to other person. Everytime i remember what that person had done, i still feel uncomfortable, but i still choose to forgive and i still love that person. Why could i do that? Because i choose to love, instead of hate that person.

By loving, i feel peace but by if i keep hating, i even hurt my self more. So how could someone forgive the people who hurt them? By loving more, we have to feel the love deep inside our heart that doesn’t keep or save the hatred. This part of heart must be there somewhere, we have to give more space to this part, so that the darkest part of hatred will be removed by the light of love. Only love that could demolished the hatred. It starts from loving ourselves more. How could we do that? First of all, never deny the feeling, feel it, it’s okay to cry or even scream, then let it go. Move on with our life. It’s the way to love ourselves by appreciating our feeling.

Then try to find love from our surroundings. It may come from the smile from the people around us, the fresh air that gives us comfort, the goodness that we receive from a stranger, or find anything that are able to delight our feeling, that could encourage us to feel better. Focus on something positive rather than something negative. It’s the way to fill the tank of love in our heart, so we are able to love more. After our tank of love in our heart is full, there will be no space for hatred or anger. So we are able to forgive. So everytime we remember the painful moment, it doesn’t bother us anymore, cause we already forgive and choose to love.

Have a great day everyone! God bless us all 😊


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