Hello everyone! It’s been a while, but now i’m ready to write again now. This year is the most hardest year in my life, because my mom has passed away. It’s already been almost 8 months, since she left us and i still miss her everyday. Thanks God, i have some videos of her that i can playback whenever i miss her. That’s why it’s important to create and save as many memories as we can with our beloved one.

Honestly my heart was so broken and i lost my passion to write anything for a while. The things that i regret the most is i wasn’t by her side at her last moment. I did video call before she left, but i wasn’t physically beside her to hug her (i live far away from her). I flew back to my home country at the same day as she passed away. Thanks God, i was still be able to accompany her to her last eternal home. Now…she is reunited with my father in heaven.

The loss is much greater than the moment when my father passed away. I was so close to my mother. We talked and chatted everyday. She is my biggest motivator and comfort. I miss her everyday. I have a big hole in my heart that can’t be replaced. I cried a lot and i let myself to grieve. It’s really painful, i understand why people suffer so much after they lose their beloved one.

But friends…..i finally gathered all of the strength that i needed and keep moving on, because life doesn’t stop there. I still have family to be taken care of. So…after some time…i decided to keep moving forward and live my life. My mom will always live in my memory, but i have to focus also on the living people.

So….how to move on and continue our life after we lose someone so dearly to us? Sometimes life seems stuck on the moment when they left. We also regret something that we haven’t done or something that shouldn’t be done. We don’t know how to ease the pain….they left a big hole in heart that none can replace.

First of all, let us feel all of the feelings…acknowledge and accept the feelings. It’s okay to cry as much as we need to release the pain. Feelings have to be expressed in acceptable way for sure. There is nothing wrong with crying also. Don’t deny our sadness or grief. Time will not make the pain go aways, but it will reduce the pain. After that…we have to forgive ourselves for the things that we regret. We can’t turn back time, but we can improve ourselves to be a better person. The next things to do is gathering our strength, we have to tell ourselves that we can continue ourselves, because life doesn’t stop there. We change our focus not to the pain of losing, but to ourselves, what we can do to make our life meaningful, to be someone better, to make ourselves happy. We also put our focus to the living people around us. Try to focus on someone who still lives also, including ourselves. The living people around us is more important than the one who left us.

By continuing our life, it doesn’t mean that we forget them, it means that we give meaning to our life. The people who passed away already finished their job in the world, but we don’t. That’s why it’s important to keep moving forward till we finish ours. When we leave this world to meet them again, we can see their smile because we do live a good life. We will make them proud. So dear friends who also lose your beloved one. Let yourselves grieve and then continue your life. Let us make our life even more meaningful since we know that our time has its own limit.

I love you mommy and will always love you. Rest in peace. We will meet again oneday, but i promise to live a good life and take care of the living people that you care most. When we meet again, i am sure that you will be proud of me ❤️.

Love

Your daughter